The Quill

So since when does a website voting result give us a new world wonder ?!

In what is probably one of the very few occasions where the lebanese can truly unite and express themselves and their insecure egos in a long proud round of mass public display of nationalistic masturbation, the orgasmic quest to get the Jeita grotto listed as one of the 7 new wonders of the world on some silly online website somewhere is almost about to reach its climatic moneyshot end.
We hear it’s a life changing event! So can’t wait !

Now dont get me wrong, i’m about as nationalistic as the next sectarian/tribal/baladieh lackey boy out there, i’m just a bit worried that the organizers of this event aren’t making enough money with their media milking gloves yet cuz there is a tiny doubter still in me left.

You see the concept in itself is sane enough. You first open a website for 10bucks and ask people to vote for the ‘New 7 Wonders of the World’. You know, the natural made wonders that mind you no one ever made and therefor none can take real credit for in the end.

Then you emphasis to the masses that their votes actually somehow make something a wonder.
For example, if 10 million people voted for a random pile of rocks somewhere as a new wonder for some reason then somehow it would become so. It’s the same very logical approach one can use to evaluate the worth of the old wonders of the word too. For instance if you can get 100 million Indians with a hardon for the Taj Mahal to vote that the distant desert pyramids ARE NOT a wonder of architecture, then somehow that too becomes true indeed thanks to the magical powers of mass sheepish votes.

Also to make sure that the voting process is very democratic, you allow everyone to re-vote as much as they want just to ensure that everything about the event is kosher fair.

Next, you proceed to convince with some proper marketing channels some small nation with a small population somewhere that in this mindless quest and race for the biggest number of votes and re-votes it still somehow has a chance to win the honorary title of a New Online Wonder of the World.
A honorary title as useful as bestowing the honory title of Queen of Virgins to none else than Madonna the pop idol star herself.

And all of this under the Damocles threat of being declared a none nationalistic outcast pariah if you don’t join in the fray and vote; better known also as the public orgy display of cleansing of previous sins by now following the hysterical flock. So vote for jeita and you are no longer a secterian lebanese scum and vote for jeita and you are no long either a tribal bum who throws car and picnic trash into ancient historic sites.

The fate of a broken nation and its none existent pride is tied to the Jeita vote. For a few cents an SMS, you can make a difference. And what better way to spend your money than on sms messages to make the organizers of this event of mass vanity even the more rich.

The moment you see on tv how our politicians and tv stars are asking us in an remade ripped off ad from a misunderstood american’s political campaign ad to “Not Vote”, you know immediately that this is a genuine call to rip you off and you just have to take your money and time and pride and vote, just to vote.

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I’d really love to vote for Jeita but the concept of claiming that a naturally formed cave is a new wonder of the world on some online site by simply voting for it with paid sms and online votes sadly eludes me still..

I’m sure the organizers will be heartbroken to know they wont make 10 more cents from me to add to the millions they already made selling the masses vapor promises full of bullshit. But the Jeita grotto and other natural formed cool places in the world were and will remain to be here in all their beauty and darkness for a long time before we humans came to be and for  long time after we all are gone too.
Now that’s a fact.

Yeah it’s true the organizers are making a killer profit out of all this and this is very smart on their part. Like in the porn industry they build the audience up for the final moneyshot while all the sex is happening between two actors on screen and has nothing to do the with the horny audience watching the show.
But hey people get a kick out of moneyshots, paid or not, and who am i to say no to that.

So apart from this mass conformist cleansing hysteria about Jeita going around, pardon my french dear friends & readers but i still fail to see why i should give a voting fuck 😉