The Quill

Apparently having never heard of the wise old saying that too much of a good thing can kill you, an uninformed simple kiss even a very simple passionate one can bring forth untold stories of misery upon both the ‘kisser’ and ‘kissee’  it seems..

For you see according to some wizened expert nerds in glasses donning white robes and sometimes better known as scientists, the act of kissing can be a very dangerous thing indeed.

Now having never read a paragraph before with the words ‘scientists’ and ‘kissing’ both in the same sentence, we will have to take their word for it for now with an open heart and trust that they actually know what they are talking about here.

‘Infectious mononucleosis’ or for us laymen ‘kissing disease’ is ironically brought about by the passionate union of bacterias from both kissers as some lovely bacteria get swapped around and lovingly catalyze and bloom into something more wonderfully unique inside each kisser’s open throat fields in a literal flaming of passion that leaves one in so much deep pains afterwards that one can’t even  sleep without properly crying oneself to sleep..

Luckily, kissing cats and dogs and pet hamsters doesn’t put the kisser at risk. While for instance kissing Jessica Alba or Angelina Jolie can leave you hospitalized for real. First for actually getting over the shock of having kissed Angelina Jolie and second for having the doctors tell you that you now got ‘infectious mononucleosis’ in your soar throat as their very own nice way of informing you that a quaint bunch of newly hitched hippy bacterias are using your sweet throat now to start a roman style orgy party.

Now it goes without saying here that by kissing we mean full lip-to-lip contact action with perhaps a bit of tongue lashing and kinky saliva savoring if the mentos gods be sweet, but not any other kind of kinky kissing that might involve other body parts having interesting kissing meetings..

So, after having presented this subject matter in the most scientific fashion possible to date, i hereby now ask you dear reader have you ever heard of this nefarious bubble bursting kissing disease ?

Good odds would suggest many people  have actually suffered from it already and mistaken it for another stupid case of bad winter cold or chilly AC or too much icecream..

But that’s just the optimistic sadistic pseudo romantic scientist in me who speaks..

At any rate, after you now know the awful damn truth, will you ever risk kissing again? or will you wait til they invent elite kissing condoms to protect us from this evil disease or may-hap resort to kissing your favorite lips safely on your flat clear monitors screen ?

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Reference: Infectious mononucleosis – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Nb: article is a newly edited re-realese of the original post i published in 2010 on a lebanese forum, it deserves to be re-shared properly 😉