The Quill

If you ask any ISP how their bandwidth is getting sucked up mostly, you can probably safely bet your balls they will tell you it’s all thanks to internet porn traffic.

Even before the dawn of net porn, classic printed porn literature was also present under the bed mattress of pretty much every teenager.

So this great industry has been with us for a while, selling us sex fantasies en mass and trying to satisfy the preferences of every adult while cashing in on it in every conceivable fashion. That said we’ll only be talking here about the legal registered adult industries, anything else legally shady and fucked up is not actually pornography but punishable criminal activity.

So, want pizza delivery porn?? No problem you’ll get it. Want fake stepmom porn? You’ll get it. Want World of Warcraft elf porn? You will get it. Want Japanese tentacle porn? Oh I am not even going there.. And finally do want some normal porn? Ah sorry, that one type is kind of difficult to find lately..

Everybody heard of Peter North, Sasha Gray, Ron Jeremy, Traci Lords.. these are all now heroic common house names with legendary movies to their credit.

Now regardless whether we consider pornography the epitome of liberated sexual expression or debased lustful depravity, fun porn movies do indeed present serious dangerous work conditions to the performers that must be dealt with professionally to safeguard the health and safety of the performers both mentally and physically.

So in order to help these awesome entertainers continue their careers without risk of injury here is a list of new safety work measures that are advised by the industry:

1-Wear diving goggles when doing glory hole movies.

2-Dont do underwater porn in beautiful tropical piranha infested waters.

3-Fasten your seat-belts when doing airplane porn movies.

4-Don’t order spicy hot pizza when doing pizza delivery pornography.

5-Don’t do stepmom pornography with your actual stepmother unless you’re an inbred hillbilly.

6-Don’t do Japanese porn. Period. If you do, quickly get a lobotomy to mentally erase it.

7-Don’t travel to eastern Europe to make amateur road trip porn unless you want to be sold into slavery.

8-Don’t take Viagra for the scene you’ll have heart issues. Double stunt dicks exist for a reason.

9-Don’t do orgies unless you already got STDs because a zillion condom won’t keep u safe here.

10-Finally don’t try acting in pornography. Just don’t. Unless it’s a Starwars cosplay porn movie.