The Quill

Having worked in the Gulf a tiny bit, these are the top 10 attractions that i still manage to find most mesmerizing and memorable !

1-First being greeted with that warm breathtaking heat the first time you experience life outside of AC cooled places smack under sunlight..  it’s as sweet as having your head cooked to excellence in an open space oven.

2-Second all that sand that flies everywhere and gets in your face and between your butt-cheeks and pretty much everywhere it can.. leave that  room window open before you go to work and come back to a proper cute mini dune desert right in your very own bedroom.

3-Next all the food in the world you can imagine, from Lebanese to French to Italian, all prepared by the best far east community of asian workers who have no idea whatsoever what Fatoush or Lasagna might taste like.. so open your mind to a whole new world of wonders and delicate tastes each time you eat something.

4-Those out of nowhere sand storms,  kick ass stuff that look like nice mountain fogs only instead of water vapor they are made up of cuddly small sand dust particles that get stuck in your lungs if you stay outdoor too long and suffocate you proper..  nothing beats coughing your lungs out for a desperate breath of fresh air to make you appreciate life again and breathe life into your dull working existence there that teeters on the verge of moral collapse sometimes.

5-All that lovely and lively imported fauna and flora. Sweet landscapes littered with a  few dozen confused looking trees planted in the middle of a sea of sand deserts that look confused at you in bewilderment each time you pass by them in your mobile AC shielded car oasis. The lovely sight of birds playing around water sprinklers surrounded by the more scorched to death carcasses of other birds a bit farther away that didn’t quite survive another day to see the water sprinklers in action today.. cool Casablanca noire looking cats that walk past you at night in suicidal indifference and that look like they have went to hell and came back but seem to be yearning and wishing badly to go back to hell again asap to escape this desert inferno.

i’m dried and withered but at least i dont have sand in my buttcheeks said the tree to the photographer

usually a cat would eat a bird lying open like this, thing is the cat is lying just like this bird and even more dead but just outside the frame of the picture

6-The always helpful cheering Indian workers, never the type to disappoint they always lend you a helping word of advice by always saying ‘yes’ whether they actually understood your question or have absolutely no idea whatsoever of what you are talking about.. nothing like asking ‘are my papers done yet?’ again to be then told ‘yes!’ and ignored completely a few dozen more times while you stand there waiting.

7-Intricate small local cultural details, like juice sellers always assuring you their juice is halal as you wonder how on earth can juice possibly be otherwise.

8-All the humidity your shirts and pants can ever dream off for an eternity if you walk for 5 minutes outside when you are lucky enough to be surrounded by a sea somewhere for this desert-y extra goodness.. it really helps you view things in perspective to see the natives walking in cool wide open white clothing as your wet hot jeans start to make you feel like fish out water, wet sand in her bunghole.

9-Developing a sentimental attachment to malls there since they seem to be the only place you can actually pretend you are not stuck in a desert.. nothing beats drowning your depression in a killer shopping frenzy to liquidate your paycheck which btw was the only reason you traveled to this or that desert emirate in the first place.

10-Noticing awesome things that usually are the inverse of what you are used to in your own lush green country, such as noticing that while under extreme sunheat walking on a road of asphalt in lebanon is a bad idea since its hot and annoying, in the desert it’s actually cooler to walk on the asphalt than on the desert sand which seem to be a lot hotter as if the sand particles themselves seem to hold some sort of personal grudge against you for just being there ! And all those expensive high rise buildings that pop and rise everywhere yet seem to be empty of the impoverished local citizens, oh wait that part is at least starting to become the same in Lebanon..

Now i wont talk about the Richter level of pent-up general social horniness nor about the availability of alcohol or not nor about the democratically elected regimes or social dogmas, i have a nice blonde head i’m rather fond of so i prefer to keep it nicely placed between my shoulders for the time being & i’m not getting paid enough to rip fun of that shit honeslty 😉

But most importantly you get to notice how much the sand gods must hate us humans there to create such extreme weather conditions and how truly tough & strong the humble poor natives are to have survived there for ages !

 Remember how cool the Dune saga was ? well this is exactly NOT LIKE THAT