The Quill

Justin Bieber, Miley Cyrus, Kim Kardashian got nothing on you.

Yes! If you weren’t aware of it yet, you are now. Cuz whether you are a guy or girl, you are awesome!

And no its not because you wrote the new definitive paper on the unified theory of physics, nor is it because you solved the economic hardships of a third world country in chaos.

Geeks and nerds do that stuff. No you are awesome because you posted your best & latest duckface selfie today on social medias and won the admiration of endless bored male friends in the process and/or the envy of girl friends that are as we speak now calling you a trashy skank.

Dual Awesomeness Achievement Unlocked.

But if you haven’t mastered the art of duckface selfies yet to be awesome, worry not,  social medias provide us all with many great ways to reach inside us and attain this nirvana state of awesomeness.

So here’s a short list to get you started asap on the road to enlightenment.

1-Duckface selfies. No list would be complete without first mentioning this great art. For if the ducks can do it so can you. Just squeeze them facial muscles and let shine that awesome sexy duck inside. If anything ducks are jealous of us over this, but don’t mind them, they’re little quack bitches. Just don’t run over more than a dozen kids leaving school while taking your duckface selfie and driving & you will be cool.

2-Head chopping selfies. Similar to duckface selfies but more attuned to the delicate tastes and senses of the Hannibal Lecters amongst us. Chopping heads and collecting them to post them online is now the new rage in the middle east where collecting action figures is considered lame as shit and blasphemous.

3-Group selfies. Now I must admit I have a soft spot for this one. Group selfies let you focus on the important task at hand of standing like an idiot for 5mins taking a zillion test pictures with a group hoping one will be alright as each second someone in the group makes a stupid face to bomb the whole thing as your expensive food gets cold in the background.

4-Butt n Boobs selfies. If instagram was made to do something apart from sharing pictures of your table covers, drinks, lampposts and cars, it’s for butts and boobs who have an artistic inclination. This isn’t for the faint of heart, for the curves must be right, the lighting must be right, or else the sexiness of the picture becomes an embarrassment and people in real life would stop seeing you hot unless you are hot on social medias and we wouldn’t want that while becoming awesome.

5-Gym and workout selfies. Another one close to my heart, gym and workout selfies to show off that you have been just lifting them killer pounds in the background, before you put them down to take the same stupid picture, is a great achievement. The more muscles that pop the better, fitness is all about shoving this down the throats of those who aren’t working out. Just make sure you contain your excitement over your new awesome sexiness while taking them pictures and don’t start sexually touching yourself.

Hope these tips kinda helped !

Yours truly,

Roy